HEY!.. YOU!
Haha heeeeeeeey!~ Saw you walking over there and I just had the strangest thought!
Those organs of yours are lookin' MIGHTY HARVESTABLE. You wouldn't mind if I, uhh...
Took them?...
Now, I know what you're thinking...
"But 142" (my name, bee tee dubs) "I just met you! You're really gonna steal organs from a stranger? We barely know one another!"
Be still your fears, my friend! I plan to become quite well acquainted with the stuff under all them bones and muscles, so I think it's only fair you be acquainted with me as well!
Go ahead! Ask whatever you'd like!
Name
Face
Website
Art
Likes & Dislikes
Organs
Done
My Name, huh? I suppose 142 is pretty strange for a name.
A name on the internet comes with a way to remake oneself, to define how you want to be seen and thought of by others. People make inferences from names, and they have certain associations with them. If I saw the name "Xx DarkWolf xX," I'd be wondering what they're doing here on Neocities and not in a 2010 Call of Duty lobby.
That's a more concrete example. A name like Markiplier is certainly less "vivid" if you've never seen it used before, but certainly there are associations that can be made. The proper name "Mark" is present in the name after all. "Canis Albus" still reflects its owner, being Latin for "White Dog." Can you guess what that artist tends to draw? (You should check them out on Tumblr by the way.)
So what of my name? It's simple really...
It's the best "nothing name" I can muster. "142" clearly has intent, being it is a simple number as opposed to a purely meaningless keyboard smash. Then again, is a keyboard smash truly meaningless? Like Pollock's paintings, I feel something such as "mjkfusdgyuk" is a momentary capture of movement. It possesses plenty of personality in its own right.
Numbers are different though. They represent something purely conceptual and abstract. 4 is not a thing, it's a quantity, and that is as close to "nothing at all" as you can get when constrained by language, because what really is a 4 when it is not counting something?
I have a "nothing name" because a name as free from associations as possible affords me the maximum amount of wiggle room. 142 isn't a box to fit into, a space that can be grown out of. I'm coloring its meaning with all that I do.
And I would wonder if I've taken this number from you. If every time you see it throughout your life, you think of me, as I do...
Buuuuuuuut I'm stealing your organs so you ain't gonna see it again lolz.
Interesting wording there, referring to my mask as a "face." My wording, specifically.
I think many people consider masks to be something which hides one's own identity. A mask is something to distrust, a hidden face is up to no good.
Now, I'm not going to pretend that to some extent that assumption isn't true. It is not common in this culture to obscure one's face outside of specific circumstances, usually environmental. Someone might hide their face to commit an act of theft or murder. I mean, I would. That's just rule 1 of crime: hide your face.
But I propose a thought to you: We do not choose the face with which we are born. Is not choosing to obscure your face in favor of something else an act of agency against your own form? A decision to represent yourself differently from the thing which people consider to be the "honest you?"
I did not choose how I would look when I was born, but I did make this mask. Designed by my mind, hewn from wood with my own hands, this mask is something I constructed through my own agency. All of my masks are.
Does that not, in some way, make my mask more honest than my own face? Something I chose to make, created from my own action, and worn out of my own desire.
But you could counter me again with the very same idea of honesty. A mask can be a tool to lie. That is true, but your body can lie too. Some people find their skin too tight for who they really are. When I don the mask I am not donning another person, I'm simply expressing what a human face cannot.
And in that way, the mask is my face.
Curious about this place? W-Well I.. Uh... I don't know what to say~
Except that the internet straight up sucks nowadays, if you can even call it the internet. At this point social media, YouTube, basically any "website" with an app that's much more commonly used no longer feels like it's part of the internet. Sure, it technically is, but being apps first and foremost they feel as if they inhabit some other space. A shadow of the web grown far greater than its source, yet diluted and sterilized as a result.
I don't quite know how I discovered Geocities. Maybe it was Hypnospace Outlaw, or maybe it was Gifcities (a search engine for gifs archived from Geocities sites). But once I did, and began browsing pages with the wayback machine, I absolutely fell in love.
Geocities pages are like pieces of a lost history; snapshots dating between the 90's and early 2000's created when the internet was still a new horizion for many folks. There is something undoubtably human and hopeful about these personal sites, something so, so rare to find in the internet today and particularly social media, where every profile is chained to a boring, homogenous format.
This website is my chance to keep some humanity, to express myself the way I see fit. A crawlspace I can haunt beneath the core web. My domain is more than simply a place to show my art and projects. It is art.
All Neocities sites are.
I thought you'd never ask! I love art!
I love art so much I don't even know what to say about it! Do you want to know how I started? Why I make it? Oh fooey, I'll cover both!
I started truly practicing art in high school, probably sophomore year, so about 2016 or so. I had always loved drawing as a kid, but had no real understanding of how to improve, or even a very strong drive to. That only came around when I discovered furries and tried to make my first fursona, only for it to turn out like an elementary schooler had tried to draw it, and so I set about getting better!
As I drew (and roleplayed, as I started that around the same time), I created more OCs, and with more OCs came a world for them to all fit in. That's what really kicked my want to draw into high gear: I wanted others to see the things I had floating around in my mind.
And that last point plays into why I draw. Less for self-expression (though I certainly still draw for that too), but more as a way to get down characters and world elements where they can be seen by others. This desire I think is what also fuelled my interest in writing, and roleplaying games in particular. But there is also another reason why I draw...
I use drawing as a method for self-improvement. No offense to other artists, as I think you should keep doing what you're doing so long as it makes you happy, but I cannot be one of those people who commits to a specific style and subject matter, never venturing beyond it. I need to experiment, I need to push my capabilities. I cannot allow myself to reach a point where only one thing is expected of me, because I see stagnation as a loss.
I draw in the pursuit of skill, and look how far I've come in only seven years! I think ahead to 10, 20, 30 years down the line and get a warm fuzzy feeling about what I could be making. If you are an artist I hope that you do too. Even though I'm gonna steal your organs, the worst thing you can ever do as an artist is give up!
That is not to say that taking breaks, leaving a piece unfinished, or suffering art block are failures. They absolutely are not and you should not feel ashamed by any of these things! You are a person and you ain't perfect. Do what you need to take care of yourself!
Likes and dislikes? What is this a dating app? Oh well, sure, I'll humor you.
As far as likes are concerned, I like: Red, blue, purple, orange, video games, animated shows and movies (particularly those done in 2D), D&D as well as roleplaying games as a whole, dice, masks, art created with either traditional or digital mediums, music with soul(I can't define it), blaming governments and corporations for the majority of the world's problems, foxes, unusual or rarely talked about animals, the way light washes along textured surfaces, the visions, the smell of rain, the smell of burning wood, the smell of dust collected in the windowsill, circus peanuts("candy"), old user interfaces, old web graphics and old websites, grungy textures, drawing programs from my childhood, late night walks, and joking about arson.
When it comes to dislikes, I dislike: Teal, poor drivers, writing professional emails, poor writing, meticulously marking every single fucking misspelling in someone's rough draft only for them all to be there in the very next. I mean seriously bro I wasted three hours of my life doing you this service the least you could do is make the corrections. Anyways, pigs(they make me sad), most dog breeds(they make me sad), governments and corporations(they make me sad), "good" graphic design and the tendency for brands to be allergic to showing any modicum of actual personality, Adobe and its products, Apple and its products, my tendency to revel in the misfortune of those better off than I am, elephants, penguins, dolphins and chimpanzees(they all get way more screentime in documentaries than other animals), when a boss theme doesn't properly fit the boss/situation, and The Killers' 2003 hit single "Mr. Brightside."
Think that about covers it, yep.
W-Why do I want your organs? Well, uh...
I ain't really making much money at the moment and Wiggle Waggle, being my employee, isn't either.
That would be fine, but Wigglet's got college coming up in ten years or so, you know how it is. Gotta pay that tuition so he has a good future.
I thought I could put my own spin on it though, yeah? Hearts, lungs, kidneys, they're all run of the mill. High demand means higher supply means lower price. But what about the niche organs huh? The ones not many people are asking for.
I mean, do you have any idea how much a Jacobson's organ goes for on the black market? I can tell you right now that there's never been one for sale.
I bet that one guy who wants one is really desperate by now. He'd probably pay just about anything for it!
And don't get me started on tonsils. Everyone's always getting them pulled out, but like a bad tattoo, someone's coming home with regret.
And I'm gonna be there with just what they need!
Point is it's not you, it's me m'kay? So don't worry your little head about what you might've done to deserve this colon closed parenthesis.
Welp, think that's all I have to say... You know every single thing about me now.
It was nice you to getting and know me, yeah? But fearful is my heart that our parting of ways overtakes us.
Anything to say before I get to stabbin'?
Spare
Sacrifice
Yeah, sure ok.
You sure?
Like, super sure?
Positively certain?
Well now I don't wanna...
